LITTLE BEAR: (crying) This cage is too small. DONKEY: Shrek, wait, wait! See that's your half, and this is my half. (awkward silence) Can I stay with you? You're gonna go fight a dragon and rescue a princess just so Farquaad will give you back a swamp which you only don't have because he filled it full of freaks in the first place. Back in the clearing, Shrek is laying on the ground facedown, while Fiona stands over him, using both hands to try to remove the arrow. I mean, really, who can ever love a beast so hideous and ugly? (chuckles). You are ugly. Gasps are heard all around. Thelonius stands nearby, golding a pillow on which rests the two wedding rings. Its all very ominous. Shrek the Musical - English Transcript Make room for ogre-sized family fun as the greatest fairy tale never told comes to life in a whole new way in this breathtaking Broadway musical adaptation of the hit movie Shrek! They never last, do they? Shrek pushes through the entrance's turnstile, but Donkey gets caught in it and lands on the ground with a thud. -Keep quiet! The masked man is dunking what looks to be a small person into the glass of milk. Fiona jumps in front of Shrek, blocking him. (jumps down to the table). -Oh! The dragon pauses, looks at him inquisitively, and then smiles. DONKEY: I'll tell you why. You're, uhuhehdifferent. Shrek pauses to look around and heads for a set of wooden doors. SHREK: Oh, yeah! One of her legs flies out and kicks Tinkerbell out of Peter Pan's hands, and her cage drops on Donkey's head. One? (Smiles). GINGY: Eat me! and his breath extinguishes all the . The villager mutters to himself. She said I was ugly! Oh. Good night. 'Cause I told Shrek those rats was a bad idea. SHREK: Does anyone else know where to find him? SHREK: Oh! MONSIEUR HOOD: But I'm not greedy. The mirrors flips through each princesses' portrait. Transcript A ray of light shines down on a leather-bound storybook. I'll whip their butt too. I can't breathe. BISHOP: People of Duloc, we gather here today to bear witness to the union. Fiona glances nervously at the window, noticing the sun slowly dropping toward the horizon. DONKEY: All right, that's what I like to hear, man. No one likes a kiss ass. You're just jealous that you can never measure up to a great ruler like Lord Farquaad. Look at my eye twitchin'. The trees and grass are neatly cut and the rows of houses all looked exactly the same. Donkey begins to hum 'On the Road Again'. DONKEY: Hey, hey, come back here. DONKEY: (as he's done singing and we fade to black) Oh, that's funny. -Please, don't turn me in. Oh. SHREK: Love me? DONKEY: Stairs? The captain hands over the reward to the villager who turned the witch in. Like I hate it when you got somebody in your face. DONKEY: Wow. She was locked away in a castle guarded by a terrible fire-breathing dragon. SHREK&&1&SCRIPT& 2& MAN&1& Whoa.Holdon.Doyouknowwhatthatthingcandotoyou? Don't mess with me. Fiona gives Hood a one-handed push and jams her finger into his chest. Hey, what are you doing? Never fear, for where, there's a will, there's a way and I have a way. Farquaad gets down on one knee and takes Fiona's hand, pulling her down sharply. DONKEY: Well you at least gotta tell Shrek the truth. Come on, baby. Shrek hops over a set of ropes that appears to make up a wrestling ring. Shrek uses the ropes to launch himself at two knights, knocking them over with his arms. But, Shrek? Get up! We're going to have a tournament! Attention allfairy tale things. FARQUAAD: Beast, I'll make you regret the day we met! He rushes down the tower's staircase with Fiona in tow and grabs a torch. (Thelonius holds up a hand mirror and smashes it with his fist.) You can't breathe a word. DONKEY: I don't even wanna hear it. Shrek's ugly 24/7. (laughs). Both Donkey and Shrek's ears lower, taken aback by her outburst. But I'll let you do themeasuringwhen you see him tomorrow. This be-ith our first meeting. People of Duloc! Just go on in and tell her how you feel. Have at him! SHREK: I, um, I was wonderingare you(sighs) Are you gonna eat that? Now go over there and see if you can find any stairs (Grabs the helmet and puts it on). FIONA: Oh! (Grabs Gorder, but he escapes and lands on his shoulder. As he is let into the room by two guards, we can see that the man is abnormally short. FIONA: Lord Farquaad? DONKEY: I was hoping this would be a happy ending. I don't wanna go back there! (Walks passed Donkey). This horrible, ugly beast! Oh! Donkey, with the flower dropped at his feet, gives them a suggestive look. Waiting in line is Donkey on a leash and his owner. I rescue pretty damsels, man, I'm good. You're letting her get away! MIRROR: So, will it be: bachelorette number one, bachelorette number two, or bachelorette number three? Shrek spins back around with a hopeful look on his face while Fiona tries to regain her composure. Farquaad holds Fiona's hand, puckers his lips, and leans toward her. I know that. That is a nice boulder. What are you doing? I forgive youfor stabbing me in the back! It just needs a few homey touches. See ya later. I'll never be stubborn again. MOUSE 2: It's not home, but it'll do just fine. Dragon swoops down and swallows him up in one gulp. Several of the characters from the movie made their way into the musical, but that doesn't mean they all stayed the same. The villagers stop outside Shrek's home, unaware that Shrek is sneaking up behind them. Fiona is still awake, plucking at petals from the sunflower. DONKEY: Ohh. Donkey crashes into a pile of knight remains, knocking over a skeleton whose helmet lands on Donkey's head. You gotta warn somebody before you just crack one off. THE CAPTAIN: Five shillings for the possessed toy. That's why I have to marry Lord Farquaad tomorrow before the sun sets and he sees melike this. Shrek and Fiona are now joined in matrimony in Shrek's swamp. At night they gather their torches and pitchforks and enter the swamp, trampling over Shrek's warning signs. DONKEY: No. Right? It is fucking amazing he does some rest I supposed, but he doesn't go down one bit, and he screams really really loud. Give me another chance! FIONA: I guess I'll be dining a little differently tomorrow night. They was trippin' over themselves like babes in the woods. DONKEY: All right, all right. She thinks I'm a steed. Shrek lightly tugs at the arrow but stops, wincing in pain. FIONA: But I thought that wouldn't matter to you. Um, good for me too. DONKEY: I'm gonna take drastic steps. Parfaits are delicious. FARQUAAD: An ogre and a princess! I was talkin' to you. MOUSE 1: Well, gents, it's a far cry from the farm, but what choice do we have? I'm a real boy. MERRYMEN: That's bad. A single light shines in the window of the tallest tower. Shrek pushes Fiona off him and rolls over to face Donkey. FARQUAAD: (stepping forward) That's enough. Shrek turns around and sees that the Seven Dwarves have put Snow White, sleeping in her glass coffin, on the table. Later that night Shrek and Donkey are sitting around a campfire. See?! DONKEY: Uh-uh, no way. Yes, do it. LITTLE PIG: Lord Farquaad. Shrek picks him up and throws him over his shoulder, and the three continue on their journey. hey don't do that! Don't look down. Andhere they are! Go find you own! and hauls her out of bed and towards the door. Does anyone know the Heimlich?! (Donkey stays silent). My mouth was open and everything. Please! I did half the work. Shrek sighs in frustration and then begins pushing his way through the ropes. Shrek lets go of the chain and the chandelier falls onto her head, which acts as a collar around her neck. THE CAPTAIN: That's it. SHREK: Quest? SHREK: Hey, come on. SHREK: Come on, Donkey. DONKEY: Hey, that is unwanted physical contact. FIONA: A door. After a brief silence, the crowd erupts into cheering and applause. Donkey looks nervous, but Shrek and Fiona give him reassuring looks. Shrek walks off. Suddenly from out of nowhere, a man swings down and swoops Fiona away. Back! You know, with you it's always "me, me, me!" SHREK: Yeah, right before they burst into flames! Suddenly an accordion begins to play and the Merrymen pop out from the bushes. SHREK: Sure, it's big enough, but look at the location. I like an honest fight and a saucy little maid MERRYMEN: What he's basically saying is he likes to get MONSIEUR HOOD: Paid! Many brave knigts had attempted to free her from this dreadful prison, but non prevailed. No! I can't breathe. He sees that a horde of fairytale creatures have set up camp in his swamp. You were meant to charge in, sword drawn, banner flying. Couldn't have been the donkey. Shrek quietly pushes open the doors, stepping out onto a balcony of large spacious room. I'm notnot emotionally ready for a commitment of, uh, this, uh - - "magnitude" really is the word I'm looking for. {Sniffs} You know, not everybody likes onions. That's what all the other knights did! SHREK: No, this is one of those "drop it and leave it alone" things! Shrek and Fiona try to grab each other's arms but are pulled away from each other. SHREK: Yeah, well, maybe you're right, princess. Shrek glances at the soldiers still aiming their crossbows and then turns back to Farquaad. FIONA: Stop it. Donkey stares silently at Shrek for a moment and then sits down beside him. Fiona leans over a barrel filled with water, looking at her reflection. SHREK: You don't have to tell me anything, princess. The mirror shows an image of a giant dragon besides a tower and then of a giant castle surrounded by lava. I'm lookin' down! Three! Fiona gives Shrek a suspicious look. Shrek sits on the hill and gazes out at Duloc until nightfall. Donkey, there's no we. Fiona is now intently looking at Shrek, smiling. DONKEY: Man, you almost burned the hair outta my nose, just like the time(Shrek covers his mouth but Donkey continues to talk, so Shrek removes his hand.) Shrek turns to leave and Fiona quickly sits upright. You don't wanna listen to me. FIONA: It's a spell. 26m. Donkey butts his head against it and the two struggle over it. T-shirts, posters, stickers, home decor, and more, designed and sold by independent artists around the world. Shrek takes the mug and smashes the spigot off the large barrel of beer behind him. Shrek climbs to the top of a tree, using his weight to cause the tree to bend over the river and form a bridge. Donkey catches up to them. Oh, no, no. And Shrekwellyou got a lot in common. Oh, you must know how it goes: A princess locked in a tower and beset by a dragon is rescued by a brave knight, and then they share true love's first kiss. The dragon now focuses its attention on Donkey, breathing fire at him and forcing him onto a stone bridge. But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort, which could only be broken by Love's first kiss. SHREK: There it is, princess. Fiona quickly rips the arrow out of Shrek's butt with one great pull. They make their through the crowd. FIONA: I can't just marry whoever I want. What's your name? DWARF: Where are we supposed to put her? VOICE: "Until you find true love's first kiss and then take love's true form. Besides, even if I did tell her that, well, you know-- and I'm not sayin' I do, 'cause I don't -- she's a princess, and I'm Shrek tosses the spit aside and trudges away. SHREK: (Picking up pieces of armor) The princess will be up the stairs in the highest room in the tallest tower. SHREK: No, no! (smiles evilly). DONKEY: Princess, how 'bout if you don't marry Farquaad? Shrek dispatches a few more knights with ease. OLD WOMAN: Oh, go ahead, little fella. (Get spooked and gasps) 'Cause there's nothin' wrong with bein' afraid. FIONA: It'll take that long? There is a montage of scenes as the group heads back to Duloc. You don't know what it's like to be considered a freak. Squeeze the jelly from your eyes! FIONA: And where would a brave knight be without his noble steed? Farquaad motions to the guards, who aim their crossbows at Shrek and Donkey. Wake up and smell the pheromones. FIONA: You're -- you're wonderful. The mascot screams at the sight of Shrek and begins running through the roped path to get to the front gate. That's my personal tail. Wait a minute! Well, if I treated you so bad, how come you came back? SHREK: All right! Nothing seems to be wrong with Donkey. (turns). Cut to a storybook that reads "And they lived ugly ever afterTHE END". As the sun sets, she changes into her ogre self. Your welcome is officially worn out! FIONA: Well --yes, actually! DONKEY: Wait a minute. (laughs). The mirror shows a portrait of Princess Fiona leaning on the window of her tower. Dragon ends up in front of them and breathes fire. Donkey sharply leans his head to the side, letting off a loud crack. Please! He's ready to talk. Well then who was she talking about? MONSIEUR HOOD: Break it down. Listen to me! Fiona looks guilty, but she eyes the eggs that the bird left behind. I'll handle the stairs. (to her stomach) Can you hear me? Shrek wakes up, smells the foods, and takes note of Fiona. A masked man is pouring a glass of milk. Shrek marches through the Duloc Knights, who back away in disgust upon noticing him. Shrek grabs a sword lodged in the floor and sticks it through a link in the chain and deep into the floor. Shrek and Fiona both walk off in separate direction. The crowd boos. Why don't you just go ask her? (laughs). DONKEY: Cool. Do you know the muffin man? FIONA: Well, eat up. All is quiet and Fiona is nowhere to be seen. DONKEY: What makes you think she'll be there? DONKEY: (still aimed at her stomach) Listen, keep breathing! Donkey begins to head in a random direction into the forest. They sprint as fast as they can out of the castle and onto the rickety bridge as Dragon breathes a huge fireball behind them. Dragon looks up at the chandelier hanging above them and gently lights its candles with her fire breath. But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort which could only. - akahunahi Oct 10, 2018 at 4:41 2 Just beautiful. Fiona catches a snake, blows into its mouth, fashions it into a balloon animal and presents it to Shrek. Does that sound good to you? The group quickly climbs up to safety. Me neither. You're amazing. But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort which could only be broken by love's first kiss. It's disgusting! Easy! Shrek and Donkey step out onto the arena but don't seem to be noticed. The force of the spell blows against the crowd and all the windows. Shrek manages to grab Donkey out of the way just as the dragon breathes another fireball. OLD WOMAN: No, no, he talks! You know what? Can't you see I'm a little busy here? Although she lives with seven other men, she's not easy. Taken aback, Shrek drops Donkey and begins walking after Fiona. Layers! Two! Shrek brings the knight over to Donkey, who leans on the ropes and headbutts the knight. Donkey looks scared of Shrek for a moment, but he quickly hides behind him after seeing that the guards have caught up to him. Shrek and Donkey exchange looks. I told ya I'd find it. You may remove your helmet, good Sir Knight. Fiona and Farquaad are leaning in to kiss, but are interrupted when Shrek bursts through the doors. DONKEY: Well, yeah! Shrek, still standing nearby with his back turned, is hurt by the comment. Shrek gestures towards the group and Fiona stands with her mouth wide. You are the best and brightest in all the land, and today one of you shall prove himself better and brighter than all the rest. DONKEY: Yeah, right, brimstone. They all gasp as Shrek suddenly stops, having reached the end of the balcony Shrek spots a fallen column that has formed a sort of slide. I warn ya! FIONA: Sunset?! The dragon chases after Donkey, stomping on the pile of knight remains in its way. SHREK: Princess, I-- Uh, how's it going, first of all? FIONA: No kidding. Don't be talking about it's the brimstone. FIONA: No, it's destiny. Now it's my turn! Where are the others?! They take off, soaring through the clouds and to Duloc. Donkey leans over him. I'll see you drawn and quartered! To mark the occasion, The Ringer is celebrating Shrek Day, an exploration of . I'm too young for you to die! Put me down! Only a true friend would be that truly honest. SHREK: Oh, no. shrek script no spaces. -Five shillings for the possessed toy. Donkey: Oh, OK. All right, cool. I ask your hand in marriage. DONKEY: Hey what's your problem Shrek? Shrek picks Fiona up and slings her over his shoulder like a bag of potatoes. Not my gumdrop buttons! FIONA: Well, yesbut I don't understand. Fairy tale creatures are put in chains and led into wagons by Duloc Guards. When he reaches the table we see that he is too short to see above it. (holds up 2 fingers) Pick number three, my lord! Shrek is munching on an onion. DONKEY: I'm gonna die. SHREK: That! He already said it. DONKEY: Hey, don't look at me. FIONA: And what do you know about true love?! SHREK: No! ), FARQUAAD: I've tried to be fair to you creatures. Shrek takes off his helmet and reveals his ogre self. Hmm? He's the one who wants to marry you. (Advancing toward her) I'm a delivery boy. FARQUAAD: Kill him if you have to--but get him! Take a good look at me, Donkey. DONKEY: You know what? This one's full. SoWhen an ogre in the bush grabs a lady by the tush. DONKEY: Ha-ha-ha! This doesn't seem to deter his interest. DONKEY: (sniffs) Ohh! DONKEY: Do you have a tissue or something? She begins backing up toward the windmill. (drinks the mug in one gulp) Come on! Unfamiliar dangerous situation, I might add. More guards enter carrying an object covered by a sheet. All right, ogre. Fiona starts a playful shoving match with Shrek, with Shrek ultimately flinging her into the bushes. VILLAGER 1: Whoa. I was born outside. Shrek grabs Fiona once again and takes off running towards the direction of the dragon's roar. I ain't saying anything. Hold on. The crowd gasps, but before he can make a move Shrek puts him in a full-nelson hold. Dark clouds block out the blue sky above them. DONKEY: Oh, my God! Fiona hands it to Shrek and he grabs onto her hand. Listen to Jesus' crucifixion for example, it's odly interesting. SHREK: We? Uhmm how do you like your eggs? Farquaad stops his horse in front of Fiona. DONKEY: Man, I like you. He bends down over Fiona and she puckers her lips. You ate the princess. What is this? Donkey might just flatter his way out of becoming dragon food. Shrek angrily fights back and knocks out a few of the guards, but they are able to subdue him through sheer numbers. Fiona's voice is heard although she isn't moving her lips. She leans over to kiss Farquaad but Shrek pulls her away by the hand. Could we just skip ahead to the "I do's"? Well, gentlemen, I bid thee good night. MIRROR: (chuckles nervously) So, just sit back and relax, my lord, because it's time for you to meet today's eligible bachelorettes. I just-- I just --. (laughs) The ogre has fallen in love with the princess! Whoa, whoa, whoa. DONKEY: (To his owner) Please, don't turn me in. Okay. In the center of a stadium-like arena, Duloc Knights are gathered as a large crowd of citizens watches on from the stands. DONKEY: You know, when we're through rescuing the princess and all that stuff. Just as Shrek nears the door to his home, Donkey jumps in front of him. Donkeys don't have sleeves. There's something I want Fiona looks around for Shrek only to see Donkey sleeping. 75 - "INTRO TO BARRY" INT. FIONA: But we have to savor this moment! He looks lovingly at the swamp he calls home, and goes about his daily routine. Well, you know what I like about you, Shrek? There you are, doing it again just like you did to Fiona. MONSIEUR HOOD: Please, monster! Three? You'll beg for death to save you! DONKEY: Why don't you want to talk about it? (bites into Shrek's ear), GORDER: Blah! The fields of Duloc stretch out before before, and further in the distance stands the Duloc Castle. What are you gonna do with that? (Moving Donkey's lips) I can talk. DONKEY: All right, all right. Come on! The two slowly lean towards each other. I don't want to rush into a a physical relationship. Nobody! He does. DONKEY: Princess? SHREK: No, that'll take longer. Then you showed up and bam! Dragon picks him up by the tail in her mouth and happily carries him off. He lies on his back. Fiona breaks away from Hood, who has his hand around her waist. DONKEY: Shrek? DONKEY: Oh! Shrek crashes through the roof of the tallest tower and into Fiona's room. Fiona screams as Shrek suddenly smashes the door down with his shoulder, still holding onto her arm. DONKEY: Yes. Parfaits. Fiona walks off, seemingly in a better mood than yesterday. I'm okay. The big shiny one, right there. FIONA: But Donkey, I'm a princess, and this is not how a princess is meant to look. DONKEY: (singing) "Then you got to, got to try a little tenderness". You know, "Grab your torch and pitchforks." SHREK: (chuckles) You know, you're not exactly what I expected. Especially useless, pathetic, annoying, talking donkeys! Shrek and Fiona walk down the aisle to their awaiting carriage, which is made of a giant onion. The deed to your swamp, cleared out, as agreed. SHREK: You've had a lot of time to plan this, haven't you? Dragon blows a heart-shaped smoke ring at Donkey. DONKEY: Okay, that makes me feel so much better. DONKEY: Ah! Shrek awkwardly grins. DONKEY: I don't get it. (He spits milk into Farquaad's eye. I didn't invite them. FARQUAAD: Okay, okay, uh number three! A man and woman run through the castle's entrance. Oh, no. Donkey is talking to himself in his sleep. SHREK: Look princess you're not making my job any easier. She enters the cave and puts the bark door up behind her. SHREK: (holds up a mug of beer) Can't we just settle this over a pint? They respond positively to him and begin to do "the wave". DONKEY: Hey, wait. Calm down. My swamp! Too quiet. Turn! BISHOP: And so, by the power vested in me BISHOP: I now pronounce you husband and wife DONKEY: Mother Fletcher! I'm right here beside ya, okay? SHREK: All right, you're going the right way for a smacked bottom. Dragon looks back at Donkey after him and Shrek climb off of her back. Blue flower, red thorns. DONKEY: Look, you love this woman, don't you? Don't die Shrek. They forgive each other! I see what's goin' on here. I am eternally in your debt. SEQ. Suddenly a camera takes Donkey and Shrek's picture, both of which are dumbfounded. SHREK: Oh, really? His smile is only met with annoyance, which confuses him. With a dragon that breathes fire and eats knights and breathes fire. This includes taking a mud shower, brushing his teeth with bugs, bathing in a muddy pond, gathering giant slugs for dinner, and painting a warning sign. The guards laugh at the Mirror's joke. SHREK: Princess, I was sent to rescue you by Lord Farquaad, okay? We'll just tackle this thing together one little baby step at a time. You dense, irritating, miniature beast of burden! Shut. It's a compliment. [Gasping] Shrek: [Laughs] [Laughing] And stay out! SHREK: So, um, what did Fiona say about me? SHREK: Like that's ever gonna happen. Actually, it's quite good on toast. I'm-- I'm worried about Donkey. VILLAGER 3: Yeah, it'll grind your bones for its bread. May 29, 2022 in new york v united states quizlet. A large amount of guards run in and grab ahold of Shrek and Fiona. I mean, of course you're a girl dragon. I heard enough last night. SHREK: Oh! They mount it on the wall and the Captain removes the sheet. Shrek suddenly lets go of the branch, tripping Donkey over, and he walks away. According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way that a bee should be able to fly. She lands with a back flip in front of Shrek and Donkey. MIRROR: Well, technically you're not a king. Caso voc baixou o Script arraste o arquivo . For emotional support. shrek script no spaces. Dragon gently caresses Donkey with a single claw. I'm scarier than anything we're going to see in this forest. The crowd gasps and one person faints. Dragon lets out a defeated cry, then gives a sad whimper. Should it not be a wonderful, romantic moment? Back there. I thought we was lookin' for the princess. You're always pushing me around or pushing me away. The Gingerbread Man is pulled out of the milk by Thelonious and is slammed down onto a cookie sheet. my bad, he screamed the new testament of the bible. The three continue their journey back to Duloc though the woods. Fiona, still up in the tree, looks down. He clears his throat and the table is lowered. Shrek sits down on the steps of the windmill and faces Fiona. Fiona belches, stopping Shrek and Donkey in their tracks. She looks up again to see Shrek stomping towards her.
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